Sherlock: Broken
by CelticLady00
Summary: This story takes place after the end of season 4. John Watson has abruptly disappeared leaving his infant daughter in Sherlock's care. As Sherlock's calls go unanswered, he becomes more and more alarmed until he finally reaches out to Inspector Lestrade for help. No one is aware yet that John's past has finally caught up with him. REWRITTEN STORY


**Sherlock: Broken**

 **Title:** Sherlock: Broken

 **Author:** Celtic Lady

 **Genre:** Drama/Angst/hurt-comfort

 **Pairings:** John Watson/OC's

 **Characters:** Usual Sherlock cast plus a new character named Jade Harris. (Yes, I like the name Jade!)

 **Rating:** M (Mature) due to language and situations

 **Summary:** This story takes place after the end of season 4. John Watson has abruptly disappeared leaving his infant daughter in Sherlock's care. As Sherlock's calls go unanswered, he becomes more and more alarmed until he finally reaches out to Inspector Lestrade for help. No one is aware yet that John's past has finally caught up with him.

REWRITTEN STORY

 **Author's Notes:** Please note that as an American, I am not always familiar with British customs or language/slang. So please be kind if I get something wrong. I do, however, appreciate being told so that I can learn and do better the next time around. I had previously posted this story but decided it really sucked so took it down. This is the revised version which I'm much more happy with.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own the characters so please don't sue. If the owners see anything you like and want to use (yeah, right), go for it - you own it now.

As the evening darkness engulfed the streets and the street lights began to flicker to life, Mrs. Hudson could tell Sherlock was worried by the way he kept pacing the floor of the living room while mumbling to himself. "Why don't you sit down dear. Look, I've made you some tea." But her attempts to cheer Sherlock up fell on deaf ears so she just left him to himself. She was worried as well but didn't want to show it. She was confident that Sherlock would figure things out.

"Why doesn't he answer his phone?" Sherlock was convinced that something was wrong. This wasn't like John at all. "He never stays out this late when he takes a walk."

Finally, he dialed Lestrade's number as he continued to pace the floor. "Lestrade, something has happened to John - he's missing and I need your help."

Lestrade knew that Sherlock was prone to over-react so he took Sherlock's remarks cautiously. "What do you mean he's missing?"

"He's missing! Didn't you hear me?" The urgency was increasing in Sherlock's voice with every word. "He left for a walk around 2:00 pm and he hasn't made it back and he doesn't answer his phone!"

"Well maybe he stopped for a brew or something", he testily replied. Lestrade still remembered when Sherlock texted 'help' for help writing his best man speech for John's wedding. He, of course, thought Sherlock was being murdered and embarrassingly rushed right over.

"Lestrade . . . Gr..Greg," he stuttered. "John wouldn't leave his daughter in my care this long without checking in on how she is doing." Sherlock knew that John was a good father who always checked on Rosie no matter what. John's silence was like a loud fog horn in Sherlocks head signaling that something was terribly wrong. "Please come."

Lestrade was silent for a moment prompting Sherlock to shriek, "I'm not imagining this!"

Realizing his silence was taken for not caring, Lestrade quickly shot back, "I know...I know, it's just that I'm on a date right now and I have to take her home first." He was trying to think of a faster way to get things started with the investigation. He knew if he brought in someone who was on duty, Sherlock might not take it well and would think he was passing the case on to someone else. Besides, he wasn't sure if this was another false alarm or not and Sherlock had little faith in any of his detectives. "Let me call Jade Harris at home and see if she can meet me at your flat. She works with me and can get things started." He hoped that calling an 'off-duty' investigator would prove to Sherlock that he was taking the situation very seriously.

Sherlock let out a visible sigh of relief that Greg truly did believe him. "Thank you." His energy seemed to drain from his body as he ended the call and sunk into his chair. Help was on the way but it seemed like eternity before Jade Harris finally arrived.

Jade collected the usual information, when John was last seen, what was his normal walking route, his mobile number, etc. then called into the office to have a trace placed on John's phone and his credit cards. She then turned to Sherlock to explain what she was doing since Lestrade had already told her to placate him and handle him with kid gloves as to the steps she was taking. "I've placed a trace on his mobile phone to see if we can use his GPS to locate him and also his credit cards to see if he has used them recently. I've also got people calling hospitals to see if he has been admitted. Don't worry, we will find him."

By this time, Inspector Greg Lestrade had arrived and overheard Jade's response to Sherlock. In his calm, authorative voice, he told her, "Let's see if we can check some cameras and spot him anywhere." Jade nodded in agreement.

She was ready to leave and head to the office when she realized, "Oh, do you have a photo of him. I'm new so haven't met him yet." Sherlock literally 'ran' upstairs to John's bedroom and retrieved a photograph of John Watson and gave it to her. She took one look and a smile came over her face. "Oh my God, I know him! I met him in Afghanistan when I was serving." She brushed her blonde hair out of her eyes before continuing, "I thought he died there."

Jade spent the rest of the night looking through recorded videos and traffic cams from the various cameras setup throughout the city. She was able to track him partly, but then he turned down an unmonitored street and she was never able to pick him back up.

-00-

John awoke to find himself in a dusty, dirty warehouse and wasn't sure how long he had been unconscious. He looked around the dimly lit room and noticed that all the windows were covered with newspaper. The dust caused him to cough several times as he tried to look around and get his bearings. His arms were tied tightly to a wooden beam hanging down from ropes tied to the rafters. This forced him to stand upright in a T formation. He couldn't imagine why his shirt had been removed as he felt a chill came over him. Seeing no one around, he tried to free himself but the ropes were tied too tight. He finally decided to call out, "Help! Can anyone hear me?"

Two individuals entered the room, one male and one female. They had their faces covered with gruesome Halloween masks. The female spoke first, "Hello Dr. Watson. We've been waiting for you to wake up."

"Who are you and what do you want?" John asked desperately. He had no idea that the woman was smiling under her mask. She had been waiting patiently for this opportunity for years now.

"We are going to make you pay," the man replied with a satisfying laugh. The woman joined him as they both smirked at John's predicament.

John gulped deeply upon realizing that he was the intended target and this was not another attempt to get back at Sherlock or Mary. "What are you going to do?" He asked reluctantly.

"We're going to break you." The woman then filled a syringe with a drug and approached John. Alarm showed on his face as he spoke in an exasperated voice, "No! Wait! Why are you doing this?" He thrashed about but couldn't get his arms free to stop her. She tied an elastic band around his arm and was just about to inject him when he kicked her away.

The man immediately came to her aid and punched John in the stomach knocking the wind out of him. He then began plummeting Watson over and over again in the face and body. He only stopped after the woman pulled him away. "He's a soldier! You can't break him that way. Stick to the plan!" The man then walked behind John and dropped John's pants down to his ankles and stepped on them between his feet to keep him from kicking any further. The woman then injected the substance into John's arm.

The drug took effect immediately, as John became completely disoriented. Noises were either amplified or distorted while his vision was blurred and erratic. And so, it began, as they started playing back explosions on the tape deck and flashing lights around him. He immediately envisioned himself back on the battlefield or so he thought. He kept wanting to duck down but was restrained too well. He imagined bullets speeding by him as he tried to dodge them. His captors then removed their masks and the man screamed into his ear, "What did you do to Tyrone? He was your friend!"

The scene in John's head immediately changed to the camp where they were stationed in Afghanistan. There was mayham everywhere as soldiers were running to take cover. Tyrone Mellingbrook had an automatic weapon in his hands and he was shooting anything and everyone that moved. He had shot John with a handgun first but didn't realize that John was still alive. John was slowly moving in to grab the handgun that Tyrone had dropped when he had switched to the automatic rifle. He dragged himself across the ground behind Tyrone, who had repositioned himself better for using the rifle. It was a slow process and his shirt was covered in blood but he kept moving. Tyrone didn't notice until it was too late when John shot him at close range in the back.

"I had to! He was killing people!" John screamed back at them. Tears filled his eyes as he remembered that fateful day that he was forced to kill his best friend.

But the man and woman kept on him, slapping his face and taunting him, "You betrayed him! You murdered him to keep him quiet!"

John shook his head no as he pictured the scene in his mind. "I had to," he whispered. "He gave me no choice."

The mock trial and beatings continued deep into the night with his captors only stopping briefly to give him some water. They certainly didn't want him to die before they were finished with him. Their goal was simple - to keep the illusion going that the shooting was still happening and that his wound was fresh. A few cigarette burns made John believe he had been shot multiple times. Little did he know that they were just warming up.

-00-

The next morning, a package arrived at 221B Baker Street containing John's phone and wallet. The battery had been removed from the phone explaining why they couldn't track it. After collecting the package, Lestrade brought Sherlock to the office in an effort to glean more information. Whether he liked it or not, they had nothing to go on for clues and all efforts to track John were futile. The usual forensics were done but turned up nothing. Dr. John Watson was officially listed as a missing person much to Sherlock's dismay.

"Sherlock, I want you to stay calm. I know this sounds useless but I have to ask these questions." He set his notepad down on the table and flipped through a couple of pages until he reached his list of questions. "Did you two have a row or anything?"

Frustrated, Sherlock fired back, "No, when we argue, John just calls me a Dick and we move on." He was clearly distraught and protested, "John is in danger! He could be dying while we sit here chatting!" The concerned face he made and his cracking voice pretty much told it all - Sherlock was terrified for John's life. This did not go unnoticed by Lestrade but he had to rule certain things out.

Lestrade calmly continued with the questions. "Have you noticed anyone following you or have you received any hang up calls?" Sherlock replied, "no" to both questions as he ran his hand through his curly locks trying to remember anything helpful. Finally, Lestrade asked what he believed to be the most important question, "What cases have you worked on recently? Could any of them be holding a grudge? Do you know of anyone who would want to hurt John Watson?"

"The only big case was Culverton Smith. It was John who stopped him from killing me." Sherlock's voice was oddly subdued as he remembered Smith's hands over his mouth and nose. He was gasping for air. Then, suddenly, John appeared and tore Smith away.

"Jade, come in here." Lestrade motioned to the one-way mirror where Jade was standing behind watching. She poked her head in the door. "See if Culverton Smith has made any phone calls or had any visitors."

She left and made several phone calls to the jail where Smith was being held. Come to find out, he had been giving an endless stream of interviews to reporters. She knew she had her work cut out for her as she got the list and started to confirm that each person was actually a reporter and not an accomplist. Several hours and phone calls later, she returned to the interview room where Sherlock and Lestrade were silently eating lunch. She poked her head inside the doorway. "He's been busy but all visitors and phone calls are confirmed reporters or his lawyer."

Lestrade motioned her inside the room and pulled out a chair for her to sit next to him. He turned to Sherlock and said, "Does John have any other friends or family in the area?" He knew he needed more information on John Watson, especially since Sherlock was uncharacteristically coming up empty. He shrugged it off to Sherlock being worried for his friend.

"A sister! He has a sister." Sherlock shrieked excitedly. "Harry...I mean Harriet Watson. She should be listed on his phone." Jade left the room to go check John's phone for contacts. She was surprised at how few contacts he had. The John Watson she knew in Afghanistan was a pretty outgoing guy who had lots of friends. Everyone liked him. With address in hand, the three of them left to go visit Harriet.

-00-

Lestrade walked up to the apartment door and knocked as Jade and Sherlock followed closely behind. A woman answered but her annoyance was obvious. "What do you want!"

Lestrade showed his badge and asked if they could come inside. The woman reluctantly agreed and stepped aside for them to enter. Liquor bottles lay everywhere and the apartment had not been cleaned in some time.

"I need to ask you some questions about your brother, John," said Lestrade sharply. "He's missing." This seemed to sober Harriet up a little as she began moving objects off of the couch so they could sit.

"What happened to him?"

"We're hoping you can help us figure that out," Sherlock answered in a tired, worrysome voice. "He went for a walk yesterday and never came back." Sherlock looked around the place and at Harriet and realized that she was not in a good place mentally. "Do you know of anyone who would want to hurt John?"

Her tone changed dramatically, as she realized they thought John was in danger. "Not really, everyone loves John. He's a nice guy." She paused to think. "He's had no problems with anyone since he got back from the war."

Sherlock immediately asked, "What about before the war?" He had to force himself to stay calm. "Is there 'anyone' who would want to hurt John? Think!"

"Well, the only one that comes to mind are the Mellingbrooks. John killed their son, Ty, while they were in Afghanistan." Harriet had grabbed a handkerchief and was twisting it around her fingers nervously. "He took it really hard because Ty was his best friend."

Before Sherlock could ask, Lestrade spoke up, "What happened?"

She gave a deep sigh before continuing. "He basically went crazy. Ty that is. He started shooting everybody and even shot John. I don't remember how many soldiers died but there were several. John got ahold of a gun and shot Ty." She looked down at her feet as she remembered back to when John had told her. "John was crying when he told me about it. They did everything together. They'd even try to go on leave at the same time so they could hang out together. He loved Ty so much. They were very close." She dabbed her eyes with the handkerchief before continuing, "John really became depressed after that. I worried that he might kill himself. But then he got a flatmate and that seemed to really help him."

Lestrade realized the flatmate was Sherlock. He had no idea about John's past - only that he was a medical doctor. He had no clue that John Watson was depressed at one point. A sick feeling came over him as he considered that John's disappearance could be a suicide. He had just lost his wife recently which was a perfect trigger. He truly hoped he was wrong.

-00-

In the warehouse, the man and woman began playing a video for John and forced him to watch it. He was surprised to see his quarters in Afghanistan. It was difficult to comprehend at first what was happening from the drugs he had been given. Then John realized he was drunk and Jade Harris was bringing him back to his tent. "That's Jade." He exclaimed. "How did you get this?"

He continued watching as he kissed Jade in the video and he seemed to become engulfed into the picture experiencing it for real life as they passionately removed each other's clothes and fell onto the bed embraced in carnal love making. Jade had quite a few tattoos on her body which made her easy to identify. It was obvious that this was not their first time together as they vigorously kissed each other and made love.

Then the video flickered and it was obviously the next day. John had just returned to his quarters when Tyrone Mellingbrook walked in. John had a curtain that he would pull across the middle of his quarters to separate his sleeping area from his visiting area. As a Doctor, he had better accommodations than the other soldiers. Ty flicked on the tape deck and immediately pulled the curtain to block the bed from the open window. He then dragged John behind it kissing him hungrily on the mouth. It didn't take them long to undress nor for John to mount him in an over eager way. Their moans were lost to the music as they pleasured each other hungrily.

Afterward, they got dressed and sat on the bed to talk like they usually did. Ty's eyes gleamed with love as he blurted out loudly, "I want to tell the whole world about our love!" He stood and danced around in a circle overjoyed.

John was visibly stunned. He had rationalized that there was no harm as they were only engaging in sex. They were living for the moment with no care about the future. "What?!" John shuddered inside. He immediately remembered his father's beatings. His father had tried his best, through sheer force, to instill shame in him about homosexuality. That manipulation was something which John could not overcome.

"Keep it down! Someone will hear you!" John quickly stood up to stop his friend from dancing.

Ty immediately saw the fear on John's face and didn't understand. "But we're in love!" he persisted. That is when John realized that Ty saw more to their relationship than just casual sex with no commitments. He felt sick and humiliated.

John ran his hands down the front of his face and wiped his mouth as he grasped desperately for the right words to say. "Ty, you can't tell anyone. Please." He paused as he saw the smile leave Ty's face. "I ... I can't." John was clearly terrified as he exclaimed, "I'm not gay!"

With tears in his eyes, Tyrone ran out of John's tent.

John's captors smiled with satisfaction. They knew his weakness and didn't hesitate to exploit it.

-00-

Back in his office, Lestrade contacted the military to find out more about the incident and to find the names of Tyrone Mellingbrook's parents. They agreed to email over the reports and information that they had.

Jade displayed the documents on the presentation screen as she, Lestrade, and Sherlock read them. John was deemed a hero for stopping the shooter from killing more soldiers. He was even given a medal. Realizing that the Mellingbrooks lived in London, calls were immediately made with no one answering. She displayed the digital photographs of Tyrone's body with a bullet to the back in the heart area. Having been a sniper in the service, she deduced, "Looks like John took a kill shot rather than trying to wound him." She murmured to herself, "That's what soldiers are trained to do."

Lestrade sent Jade Harris over to Tyrone's parents to see if they were there. But the house was eerily quiet. Their only lead was missing or hiding.

"Donovan, in my office." He motioned her inside. "Do some property checks for Warren and Melinda Mellingbrook. Let's see if they own any property other than their house."

"Sounds like a waste of time to me, Sir. You know these things are always about Sherlock." Her displeasure was evident. "We should be checking his cases for clues. You know how he pisses people off."

Lestrade was quick to remind her, "Yes, but they always make contact with Sherlock to try and lure him out. Until they do that, we can't be sure what their intentions are."

Many searches were made trying to locate any property the Mellingbrook family might have owned. Mr. Mellingbrook owned a refrigeration company and Lestrade lead a search of the premises with no luck. Sherlock gave his usual deductions which pained him greatly as he knew they were of no use. This was followed by a search of the Mellingbrook's home. Again, nothing was found but Sherlock concurred that they practically had a shrine dedicated to their son by the many photographs that hung on the walls. Sherlock was convinced that the Mellingbrooks had John Watson but where were they.

Another day passed while Lestrade put several more detectives on the case as they tried to determine where John was being held. They had no idea of the torment that was being inflicted on their friend but Lestrade could tell that Sherlock was falling apart with worry. John's daughter was being cared for by Mrs. Hudson and Molly Hooper and they kept asking Sherlock if there was any news. Sherlock had entered his Mind Palace many times in an effort to find something ... anything that could help. He had elicited the help of his homeless friends on the streets and even they had nothing to offer. They were at a dead end.

-00-

The door opened and John knew they were coming for him again. His face was covered with dirt and streaks where the tears had flowed downward. The torture was taking its toll on him. He was exhausted and could no longer stand on his own feet. His captors had untied him from the wooden beam and had shackled him to the floor instead where he now laid naked among the other filth and debris. The drugs amplified the torment even more and they did their best to humiliate him in every way possible.

"Ready for another go, John?" He was unshackled and thrown into a wooden arm chair where she injected him again. John gazed at his arm and saw all the bruises and track marks left by the injections. He thought of Sherlock and remembered how his arm had looked. He wondered if Sherlock would ever find him. He doubted it would be in time.

They started up another video and forced him to watch. The screen showed his quarters again as he and Jade were standing by his bed talking. He was trying to convince her to have sex again.

"Come on love, give me some lovin'." It was obvious that he had been drinking. Only this time, Jade wasn't obliging him.

"No, I just came to say goodbye. I'm heading out tomorrow." John pulled her up close to him and wrapped his arms around her waist as he kissed her neck. Jade laughed. "Baby, I have lots of people to say goodbye to. I don't have time." She started to pick up her backpack when he stopped her.

"No, no, no...make time for me. Make me feel good baby." He tried to unbutton her shirt but she playfully stopped him.

He was surprised though when she began unbuttoning his shirt instead, much to his chagrin, and he tried to help her but she just slapped his hand away as a coy smile came over her face. She undressed him completely with no resistance and had him lay on his bunk on his stomach. He started to object but she countered- "Massage! No sex." She laughed at him again and sat beside him where she began kneading his neck and shoulders. His moans told her she was hitting some good spots. John grabbed his pillow and clutched it beneath his stomach. She continued down his back and onto his buttocks. He seemed content with just a massage for the moment as they made small talk. They knew that death was waiting just around the corner for them and that any day might be their last. Both of them had lost several friends in squirmishes. It was somewhat of an unspoken truth between them that they could be next. Since they were in the worst area for fighting and casualties, the chances were good that they would never make it out of this war alive.

"So where are they sending you this time?" John asked lazily as his muscles started to relax.

"I donno. Saigin I think, but they wasn't very specific. Guess I'll find out once I get there."

His concern showed in the tone of his voice as he turned over onto his back to face her, "That's a pretty dangerous area." He pulled his pillow up behind his head. Jade enjoyed gazing on his naked body as she started massaging his neck and shoulders.

"I know. They have a sniper problem and they want me to take care of it." Jade knew if she ever got caught by the insurgents, enemy snipers were treated much worse than any other soldier. Plus, she was a woman so it would be even worst for her. She tried to put it out of her mind as she began massaging John's chest. "I'll be careful, I promise." Jade knew full well how 'out of hand' situations could become and doubted she could be careful enough.

"Do you have anything dangerous planned?" Jade said jokingly while trying to switch the conversation off of her. The look that came over John's face made her realize that something was troubling him as she softly asked, "What's up?"

He shook his head but she persisted. Finally, he admitted to romance problems. Jade gave him a look, "You didn't get a girl pregnant, did you?"

John giggled at the ridiculousness of her question. She had no idea. "No, but someone is wanting more than I can give," he cautiously answered.

Jade seemed to understand. "Oh, like marriage, kids, and a house in the burbs?" She shook her head in acknowledgement. "Yeah, girls do tend to want the fairytale." She made a ditto gesture with her hands before she continued, "But not me. I like being unattached." She gave him an evil grin as she moved her hands to his pecs making sure her fingers carressed his nipples. She loved to tease him like this and wondered how long it would take him to notice.

John went along with the 'girl's' reference as he explained, "Yeah, she wants all of that but it was never my intent and I thought she knew. We talked about it and she knew." He suddenly realized what Jade was doing and moved her hands much lower but Jade wasn't going to rush it. "Down here love, that's where I need it." With a playful laugh, Jade moved her hands back up to his abdomen as she continued massaging.

"So how long have you been seeing her?"

John rolled his eyes as he professed, "Oh, maybe 2 or 3 years." He knew full well it was longer.

Jade gave him a playful slap on the chest. "Years! You strung this girl along for years? No wonder she wants you to marry her. Jesus, John, you can't just be doing that!"

"I know! Believe me I know!" He shrugged, "But now I have to deal with it."

"You realize that you either have to marry her or break it off so she can go find her 'one and only'." She moved her hands over his hips and thighs purposely avoiding his pleasure spot.

"You're right! You are absolutely right", he explained in a resigned tone. Somehow talking it over with Jade made him feel much better. He knew what he had to do.

He moved his arms up over his head and stretched. God her massages were good as her hands finally reached his erogenous zone. He let out another moan as he quickly came. He was exhausted and it didn't take him long to fall asleep under her gentle hands. Jade laid his t-shirt over his hips to cover him and then pulled a bottle of whiskey out of her backpack and put it on his nightstand with a note. She gave him a little kiss on the forehead before she left.

John watched through burning eyes as the tears came yet again. He wished she was there to save him now. He had been told later in the hospital that Jade's unit had been overrun and there were no survivors. The woman then slapped him hard across the face. "You cheating bastard!" She slapped him again. "Tyrone loved you and you cheated with this whore?" The beating began again as he tried to dodge the blows with little success.

Hours later, John realized he had passed out and they had restrained him again by his ankle. He could tell it had been awhile by the dried blood on his face but he didn't want to move or he'd feel the pain again. The drugs had worn off a little as he heard them return. They had another surprise for him. "Look who we found rummaging around our house, John. Your flatmate." They dragged an unconscious Sherlock across the floor and shackled him to the wall. A bucket of cold water was enough to bring him around.

Sherlock awoke quickly as the cold water hit his face. He could see that he was restrained on a chain that was connected to the wall and glanced over to see John Watson naked and dirty chained like a dog on a leash. "John! John!" There was nothing he could do but he had to try. Perhaps he could reason with them, "Why are you doing this?"

The woman seemed pleased with herself as she explained, "Johnny boy killed our son. Now we're gonna kill him." She paused before continuing, "But first, we're gonna drive him mad."

The man unchained John yet again and dragged him over to the chair where the woman prepared another injection. John knew what they were doing but was too weak and disoriented to fight them. He glanced over at Sherlock but didn't recognize him. Sherlock could see the track marks on John's arm and watched, sickened by what they were doing to him. John was covered in dirt and blood from head to toe. He had the beginnings of a beard now and one eye was partially swollen shut. His body showed many whelps and bruises from the beatings he had endured. Sherlock's only hope was that Lestrade had enough data to figure things out and find them.

"It's time to watch another video John." The woman turned to Sherlock, "Oh, don't worry, you'll get caught up fast enough. We'll play them over and over again. Right John?" The woman seemed quite pleased with herself.

They hit play and the video started from where it had stopped previously. It was the next day and John had awoken to find the whiskey and note which he read, _'Just a little gift to keep you going. Say a prayer for me - this is going to be a tough one'_. He took the bottle, poured himself a drink, then put the bottle and note inside his nightstand for safe keeping as he got dressed and sipped the alcohol.

As John sat hunched in the chair, he became very emotional knowing what was coming next and dreaded it as the agony showed on his face. He screamed at the top of his lungs just to convince himself that this wasn't another nightmare. By now, he had figured out who his captors were. They were the parents of Tyrone Mellingbrook and they were about to witness him breaking up with their son which would ultimately send Ty into madness. John knew it was his fault. "I'm sorry," John whispered. But it fell on deaf ears.

Tyrone walked into John's tent and sat on the bed like he had done so many times before. But today he wasn't his usual cheerful self and John picked up on it immediately. He sat down and did the best he could to let Ty down easy but it was anything but easy. "Ty, we talked about this...remember? No commitments, just sex."

"I know," the apprehension was apparent in his voice. "But I love you!"

John could tell that Ty had been crying, most probably all night, and that he deserved an explanation. "Listen Ty, you don't understand." John gulped as his mouth went dry. "My Mum left my father for another woman and he never got over it." He took another drink of his whiskey in the hopes it would make the situation easier for him as he continued, "He was very abusive to my sister and I and he would beat us every time he saw any inclination of us being gay." John's muscles tensed up as he remembered the punches he endured as a child. "He drilled it into us."

Ty shook his head like he understood but deep inside he was seething with anger, "What about me! Did you ever think about me?"

John couldn't look Ty in the eye as he shrugged guiltily, "No. I didn't think-." His voice cracked and he didn't think he could continue. As tears began running down his face, John looked over to Ty and made the suggestion that would haunt him for the rest of his life. "I'm not the one for you. I can't give you what you want." He paused as he dreaded what he had to say next. "I think we should stop seeing each other."

Ty fled the tent with tears in his eyes. John tried desperately to contain his emotions but couldn't as he put his head down and sobbed uncontrollably into the mattress of his bed. He never meant to hurt Ty.

After several minutes, he composed himself and knelt down beside his bed and said a prayer for Jade and Tyrone asking God to keep them both safe. He wiped the tears away and left to do his job.

Hours later, Tyrone could be seen coming into the tent and removing the hidden camera that he had secretly placed there. After watching it, he then mailed it to his parents along with his last goodbye. He would commit a murder-suicide with him shooting John then forcing the other soldiers to kill him. If he couldn't have John in life, he'd have him in death.

John didn't realize until that moment that Tyrone had purposely planned to kill him on that fateful day.

-00-

Lestrade hung up the phone with a defeated look on his face. Sherlock was nowhere to be found. He knew he should have kept Sherlock closer so he could watch him but there was too much to do. He walked out into the common area to inform the other detectives. "It looks like Sherlock may have been taken as well. He didn't make it home last night."

Sgt. Sally Donovan seemed proud of herself, "See, I told you it was all about Sherlock. It's always someone after Sherlock." She gloated as she looked judgingly over at Jade Harris. "Experience goes a long way." She walked over to her desk, "I'll start going through his old cases."

Lestrade returned to his office with Jade close behind. She closed the door behind her as she approached his desk. "I still don't think Sherlock was the target."

"Well, it wasn't the first time he'd ever been targeted. I can't rule it out," Lestrade said dismissively.

"My gut is telling me otherwise." She knew that wouldn't be sufficient to Lestrade but it was the truth. Her gut was telling her it had everything to do with Tyrone Mellingbrook and John Watson. She remembered Ty and had heard about him shooting John Watson and a bunch of other soldiers. "Just let me keep looking into the Mellingbrook side."

Lestrade took a deep breath as he thought about it. He wasn't even sure why he was giving Jade a chance to be a detective over other officers. She certainly didn't have the experience except for being able to shoot well. Something about her had peaked his curiosity though so he signed her to a 6-month contract to try her out and see how well she could learn the ropes. He knew the other detectives were not happy with his decision and rightfully so. They had more experience and tenure. The policy was to promote from within - but he took a chance and hoped he wouldn't regret it. He was already receiving some heat from the Superintendent over it and didn't want to deal with that right now.

"No, focus on Sherlock," he said sharply. "Donovan is right, it's always Sherlock!" He just hoped that his decision was the right one.

"But what if you're wrong!" Jade snapped back. She felt obliged to John Watson to do all that she could to find him. She didn't even know this Sherlock fellow or why they were so quick to come to their conclusion.

Lestrade didn't like her questioning his decision and shot back angrily, "Do as you are told or you can get the hell out of here! I have a double kidnapping to investigate."

"That's just it! I only hear Sherlock," she chided. "Who's looking for John Watson!" Her anger was starting to show its ugly face as well as her frustration. But she knew they wouldn't listen to her, she was just a newbie.

"You know what, I quit! Keep your stupid badge. I'll go look for Watson myself!" As much as it pained her, she hated being placed in this position as she slammed the door behind her on her way out of his office. Donovan had a pleased look on her face as she watched.

-00-

Mr. and Mrs. Mellingbrook were not pleased that John still showed some control. Their goal was to break him and while he was certainly disoriented and hallucinating, they didn't feel he was suffering enough.

"We need to do more!" She said clearly frustrated, "It's not enough - he's fighting us."

Her husband had planned for this as he opened his duffle bag and began pulling out additional items to use for torture. Sherlock watched as Mr. Mellingbrook drilled holes in the floor to bolt a second chain down and then took John Watson from the chair and shackled his wrists to one chain then stretched him out on his back and shackled his ankles to the other restricting him from assuming a fetal position like he preferred. He handed a riding crop to his wife and simply said, "Have fun dear," while he got the other items ready to use.

Sherlock winced with every strike Mrs. Mellingbrook made against John, and there were several. Her husband started the videos up again and the flashing lights. Once his wife was finished, he placed John in the chair again. Sherlock was secretly proud as John defiantly cursed them over and over again. But his defiance came at a high cost as they increased the agony more and more. They began using every form of punishment and torture they could think of - physical and verbal abuse, and the worst of all - shame.

Sherlock sobbed as he watched helplessly and begged them repeatedly to stop. Every time John cried out in pain, Sherlock shook with anger. He would make them pay for this and it certainly wouldn't be legal. He even tried to make them focus on him and beat him instead just to give John a break. But it was no use. The break only came when the Mellingbrook's had tired and left to get something to eat. They purposely left the videos playing for John's benefit and had re-chained him by one ankle after he was dragged back to his place among the trash.

"John," Sherlock began slowly. "John, can you hear me?" He had streatched out as far as his chain would allow him as he tried to reach for his friend but it was useless as John sat there rocking back and forth in his delirium.

John streatched his arm out to look at the track marks as he began talking almost incoherently. "Do you see the bugs? They're gonna eat my arm off." He continued rocking as he ran his fingers over the spots. "Look, they're crawling under my skin." John paid no mind to the videos but he could hear Tyrone's voice as he looked idily around the room. "Do you see the bugs Ty?" He showed his arm to his imaginary friend. "I'm rotting away. I...I must be dead."

"You killed me Ty. You killed me." He gave a small chuckle as he continued to rock. "I never made it out of Afghanistan did I." A sadness came over his face, "It wasn't real was it? Sherlock wasn't real."

The pain swept over Sherlock as he listened to his friend's ramblings. "John, I'm real. I'm right here! Believe in me, I'm real!" He pleaded but John didn't seem to register that Sherlock was even in the room.

 **[The imaginery conversation that John is hearing in his head with Tyrone has been placed in italics to differentiate it from normal verbage.]**

John began sobbing uncontrollably as he wrapped his arms over his head and continued to rock back and forth. "God, please let him be real. Please let Sherlock be real." John could hear Tyrone taunting him, _"Where is your imaginery friend now John. Did he die for you like I did?"_ Suddenly, John burst out into an angry tyrade, "You shut up Ty! You shut the fuck up!" He wildly pointed his finger at Ty, "You're nothing! You mean nothing to me! Sherlock means everything!"

 _"You love him but you couldn't love me. He doesn't love you John. He never loved you like I did!"_ A smile came over Tyrone's face, _"And you don't love him either. You can't love a man can you John."_

Without realizing it, John put his arms up over his head to shield himself from his father's imaginary blows. "I'm not gay dad! Stop, I'm not gay!"He tried to get away but the chain attached to his ankle stopped him. "He's wrong dad. Don't listen to him!"

Sherlock realized that John had reached his limit. The drugs and torture had done their job. "John," he began slowly. "I want you to take some deep breaths and listen to my voice. Listen to my voice John and breathe." Sherlock did his best to keep his voice slow and calm.

John seemed to quiet down a little as he followed Sherlock's advice. Sherlock's deep voice seemed to have a calming affect on him.

"I want you to concentrate on a place. Somewhere that you like to be. Somewhere nice. Can you see it John? Put yourself in that place." He found it had always helped him to go to a special place when things had become too hard. Nothing could hurt Sherlock in his special place and he hoped that John could find solace the same way.

John found himself sitting in his chair at 221B Baker Street. He could smell the tobacco from Sherlock's cigarettes and knew he had been there recently which made him feel better. He was still naked but the room was quiet. He began to relax when suddenly Tyrone appeared on the couch. John's muscles immediately tensed up again.

 _"You can't get rid of me that easy John."_

"Go away Ty." He tried to imagine him away but it wasn't working.

Tyrone leaned forward and clasped his hands under his chin. _"So does he know how much you love him? How much you want him?"_

John slumped down in the chair, defeated, when he glanced over to Sherlock's chair and envisioned Sherlock sitting in it. At least it was quiet and calm as he began to converse with Tyrone, "He knows I love him. He's my best friend." John kept his eyes focused on Sherlock and was pleased when he saw Sherlock smile.

A sly smirk came over Tyrone's face, _"But does he know you're gay?"_

Sherlock could deduce that John was more relaxed but he was still fighting Tyrone mentally and it appeared to be over him.

Suddenly, John gave a satisfying reply, "I'm not gay, I'm bisexual. Do your research!"

Sherlock delighted at the comeback John had given and it was clear that John still had a little fight in him. "You tell him John! You tell him!" He recognized the 'do your research' comment and tried to keep John focused on him instead of Tyrone.

 _"No, you're a freak! You've always been a freak!"_ Tyrone shot back in defense. He seemed to enjoy shouting those words at John.

Tyrone's words cut John to the core. "I'm not a freak! I'm not." John pleaded. For the first time, John looked over at Sherlock and saw the pained look on his face as he recognized his friend was chained to the wall. He tried to reach his hand out to Sherlock for comfort but their chains were not long enough to allow them to touch. In a defeated voice, he whispered, "Sherlock...I'm not a freak." He looked away in shame.

Sherlock could hear the Mellingbrooks returning and dreaded it. He knew what this meant for John.

-00-

Jade went to the General Register Office (GRO) and looked up the Mellingbrook's marriage. Mrs. Mellingbrook was born a Quincy. She then began doing some genealogy research at a local library and determined the parentage and siblings of both Warren Mellingbrook and his bride, Melinda Quincy. It was late in the day before she had her list of names. She proceeded to search the land registry for any property owned by the individuals on her list. Eliminating the properties, they had already searched, Jade focused on the Quincy names and discovered a warehouse owned by Melinda Quincy's parents. This was her last hope as she quickly drove to the address. Jade thought about calling Lestrade but decided against it. She was still angered at their narrowmindedness. Besides, she wasn't sure of anything at this point.

Jade quickly circled the building to see what access was available to her. She saw flashing lights coming from a covered window so she knew someone was there. Quietly entering the building, she crept down the hallway towards the source of the flashing lights. The building appeared to be empty but she stayed alert with her gun drawn. She could hear yelling as she crept closer to the door and listened.

Inside she recognized Sherlock's voice. "Please stop!" he pleaded through his sobs. Then she heard a painful scream. Jade kicked in the door and rushed in as her military training took over. She immediately shot both Mellingbrooks in the head then glanced over at what they were doing to John. Her heart sank. Jade had to search both individuals before she found the keys to the chains then rushed over to unlock Sherlock.

Sherlock immediately ran to John and tried to hold him in his arms as he himself sobbed uncontrollably. But John, in his delirium, tried to push Sherlock away. "Nooooo!" He screamed as he tried to get away. The terror was evident on his face. John put his hands up as though to block a punch and sobbed with convulsive gasps as he fell out of the chair onto the floor and assumed a fetal position.

"John, it's me...Sherlock!" John made no recognition of him as he continued to scream uncontrollably. Sherlock was desperate to help him but didn't know how. He finally resigned to the fact that trying to hold John only made him worst. He changed his tone to a lower, calmer voice, "John, I'm here. It's okay. It's okay. I'm here."

John Watson slowly quieted down to a whimper. "John, it's Sherlock. I'm here. You're safe now."

"Lestrade, I have Sherlock and John Watson. We need an ambulance ASAP." Jade felt tired and drained as she gave him the address and ended the phone call. She couldn't remember when she had last slept and the exhaustion showed on her face. She turned to Sherlock and asked him, "Are you okay?" He nodded yes. Then she turned to John. She simply laid her hand gently on his head and let him cry as she knelt down beside him.

When Lestrade and his team arrived, they could not believe the horror that lay before them. Lestrade glanced over at the elderly couple dead on the floor and the video playing on the screen.

Donovan noticed there was no gun next to the bodies. She turned to Jade and angrily stated for everyone to hear, "They didn't have a weapon! They were unarmed. You didn't have to kill them!" She was furious.

Sherlock immediately came to Jade's aid as he screamed angrily, "Yes! She had to shoot them! They were minutes away from killing John!" His face was wet with tears as he looked up at Lestrade with reddened eyes.

Finally, the ambulance arrived and they rushed John to the hospital. Lestrade wanted to talk to Jade but she brushed him off as she turned to Sherlock, "You're with me." She looked back to Lestrade as they were walking away to her car, "We'll be at the hospital if you need us."

-00-

At the emergency room, Sherlock desperately wanted to stay with John but the nurses pushed him out of the room. They tried to clean him up but he fought them as he kept screaming, "Stay away!"

Sherlock watched from the narrow window in the door and feared they might restrain John which he knew would only make him worst. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore as he barged in. "I can calm him down and clean him up, please let me help."

The nurses reluctantly gave him a washcloth and pan of water as they stepped aside to observe. "John," he started, keeping his voice calm and slow. "I'm going to clean you up. Just let me do this, okay."

Sherlock wet the washcloth and began wiping the dirt off of John's face very gently. He put his left hand on the side of John's head to keep him from rocking his head back and forth. The blank stare of John's eyes had the look of death in them as Sherlock kept talking to him. "Let's start with your forehead okay. Just relax, I won't hurt you. I promise." John just stared at the ceiling motionless as Sherlock continued to wipe down his face. At least he wasn't fighting Sherlock.

He continued down with John's neck and then his chest. John winced as Sherlock wiped the cloth across the whelps but made no move to stop him. John's breathing had returned to normal so Sherlock continued to clean the dirt off of John's body. It took several pans of clean water to achieve the task but finally he was done and the nurses put a hospital gown on John. They began hooking up heart monitors and other equipment to monitor their patient as Sherlock held his hand.

By this time, Lestrade and Donovan had arrived and were watching from the hallway with Jade. With John calmed down, Lestrade opened the door to enter. He turned to Donovan and insisted, "You stay out here in the hallway." She knew it wasn't a request but an order. Jade followed Lestrade into the room and stood beside Sherlock. With the dirt removed, John's injuries were much more visible.

In a low whisper, Lestrade turned to Sherlock, "How is he?"

Sherlock's only reply was, "Alive."

The following morning Lestrade returned to the hospital and found Sherlock and Jade standing out in the hallway of John's room. They had both been with John all night. Fearful that something may have happened, he asked, "What's up?"

Jade explained, "John threw up and may have had a seizure. The doctors are checking him out." After several minutes, the doctor opened the door and stepped into the hallway.

"How is he Doc?" Lestrade asked while showing the doctor his badge.

"He's in bad shape but I think he will live." The doctor shook his head, "He's going to have a long recovery. He'll need a lot of support." The doctor then led Lestrade away to give him the medical report on John's condition and injuries while Sherlock and Jade returned to John's side.

Sherlock took up his previous position of holding John's hand and caressing the top of his head. He had never seen anyone so broken. His only goal right now was to keep John calm so he could heal.

Jade noticed the gentleness of Sherlock's touch and how concerned he was for his friend. Although they had spoken very little throughout the night, she decided to start a conversation with him. If he was John's friend, she wanted to get to know him.

"So how long have you known John?" She inquired.

Sherlock's voice was tired and almost inaudible when he replied, "Years. Ever since he got out of the Army."

She was just about to ask him another question when Sherlock inquired of her, "Did you know Tyrone Mellingbrook?"

She nodded her head, "Yeah, I knew him."

"Tell me about him." Sherlock wanted to know everything about the man that he saw in the videos.

She gave a little smile. "Squirrely! He had a lot of energy and was always bouncing off the walls. I wasn't really impressed with him but John liked him."

"Were you in the same unit as John?"

"No, I was in a different unit." She had fond memories of their time together. "We were more like passing ships in the night. Whenever we were both in the same area, we'd hook up and go dancing or something. They always had dances or something going on to keep moral up. He was a nice guy." Jade knew John much better than she let on but didn't want to share the details with Sherlock. She had no idea about the videos and what they contained, as she had only caught a small part of them, but she was about to find out.

Sherlock didn't make small talk and his questions were quite direct. "Did you have sex with him?" He knew the answer but needed to see her reaction to aid him in deducing her.

Jade felt her jaw clench as she tried to stay calm. "That's none of your business."

Sherlock smiled, "You're protecting him."

She wasted no time in responding, "I like him." She wasn't going to get into an argument with John's friend but she wasn't going to take any shit from him either.

"The videos showed John in bed with Tyrone. They were lovers." Sherlock figured this would push her buttons a little since he knew she had slept with him as well.

What he didn't expect was that Jade was immediately on to his ruse and she had done some deducing of her own. "Jealeous?"

He raised an eyebrow in surprise. "No. But I've only seen him date women."

"So he's walked on the wild side, big deal," the sarcasm was clear in her voice as she rolled her eyes. Obviously those videos must have contained embarrasing information and Jade now wanted to know more. Unruffled, she shot back, "Yeah, I suspected they had a thing if that is what you're wanting to know. And no, it didn't matter to me - he was a good fuck."

Sherlock let go of John's hand and leaned back in his chair as he touched his index finger to his lips. This girl was interesting. "You didn't have to kill the Mellingbrooks."

She smiled proudly, "No, I didn't. But John saved my life and I owe him." She knew that if Sherlock really was John's friend, he wouldn't change his story even after hearing her confession. He'd protect John. "Do you really want your friend to go through a trial and have all his secrets exposed?"

A smile came over Sherlock's face. He knew she was testing him but he needed to know more about John and Tyrone.

"Were they in love?"

Jade chuckled, "No! They wasn't in love." She couldn't believe how absurd his remark had sounded and proceeded to explain. "We were at war! People were shooting bullets at us trying to kill us! The longer you're in, the more you realize your number is coming so ..." She paused dramatically before continuing, "You live for the day. You take the chance. You go ahead and have the extra drink, take the drug of your choice, or fuck whoever you want because you're gonna die anyways. You might as well enjoy yourself!" She sat back in her chair with a wide grin on her face. Now it was her turn for questions.

"What was on those videos?" She leaned forward and placed her elbows on her knees as she waited for Sherlock's answer. The smile quickly left her face.

Sherlock briefly described the situations and informed Jade that both she and Tyrone were filmed making love to John. He even informed her of the little prayer John had said which Jade found touching.

She finally opened up in a more somber tone and revealed to Sherlock, "John and I would tell each other our problems. It was like therapy. He told me a lot of bad stuff but he never mentioned Ty."

"Did he mention his father?" Sherlock remembered the outburst John had.

Jade hung her head in sadness. "Yeah, he told me about his dad. The guy was a real prick and he took it out on his children." She rubbed the back of her neck as she straightened up in her chair. "His father abused him pretty bad as a child and his mother abandoned him. It's a touchy subject with him so I wouldn't mention it if I were you." Jade remembered that she had to stay with him all night once he had told her. He was that upset and she feared he might hurt himself.

-00-

Several weeks later, Sherlock was ecstatic as he held the door of 221B Baker Street open for John to enter. It had been a slow process but John was doing much better at walking and his mind had cleared up somewhat so that he was aware of his surroundings and could converse somewhat when asked questions although his answers were usually simple yes or no's. Sherlock acted like a mother hen as he slowly guided John painfully up the stairs to their flat making sure he didn't fall or anything. Mrs. Hudson watched from the landing with a pained look on her face. John's face was so bruised and the swelling was still visible. He had a cast on his right arm.

Once inside, John headed straight for his chair and sat down exhausted never saying a word. Mrs. Hudson brought him a cup of tea but he ignored it as he just sat there silently starring at the floor. She turned to Sherlock and whispered, "If you two need anything, just let me know." She glanced again at John before leaving. She knew that they needed time alone.

Sherlock sat in his chair across from John. His friend was so broken and he didn't have a clue as to how to fix him. He was so grateful when John finally spoke for the first time unprompted, "How's Rosie?"

"Great! We're all taking turns watching her." Sherlock exclaimed excitedly. He was so happy that John actually spoke. "Don't worry, we've got her covered...she's good." He tried to keep from wrentching his hands as he knew John would pick up on it but it seemed useless.

"Good. I can't-" John began. Sherlock interrupted, "We'll watch her until you're ready to take over." John nodded.

John glanced at the cup of tea. He started to reach for it but his hands were shaking too much and he thought otherwise a move that did not go unnoticed by Sherlock. "I'm tired."

Sherlock immediately stood up, "You're in my room! Er...I mean you'll be sleeping in my bedroom. It'll be easier for you." He didn't want John to have to climb the stairs to his own bedroom.

John didn't argue and slowly stood up and began walking to Sherlock's bedroom. Once inside, he noticed the baby crib to the side with various toys scattered about. "Have you been-" he started.

"Yes! I watch her at night." A bit of pride came across Sherlock's face. He and Rosie were getting along great.

A small smile appeared on John's face as he imagined Sherlock changing Rosie's diaper. It must have been hilarious to watch. But the smile didn't last long, "You can stop being nice to me you know."

Sherlock professed soberly, "That's what best friends do."

John sat down on the bed and looked up at Sherlock. "You do know that I killed my last best friend, don't you?" Sherlock was startled until he noticed a sly smile on John's face which he returned.

"Get some sleep. I'll awaken you once dinner arrives." Sherlock shut the door behind him and returned to the living room.

It hadn't even been an hour when Sherlock heard John screaming from the bedroom. He rushed in to find John sitting up and soaked in sweat with a terrified look on his face. Sherlock sat down on the bed and held his friend as John screamed uncontrollably in his arms. This would be an often occurrence in the weeks to come.

-00-

Molly Hooper was surprised when Sherlock came walking into Barts hospital looking for her. John must be doing better if Sherlock was leaving him alone now. She assumed he was there to use her equipment as usual.

"Molly! I need your help!" Sherlock exclaimed as he placed his hands on both her shoulders. "John is having terrible nightmares and he refuses to take the sleeping pills. I don't know what to do."

It felt strange to have Sherlock coming to her for advice. "Well, sleeping pills are addictive so that is probably why he won't take them. I sort of agree with him - with his other addiction, he doesn't need a second problem to deal with." Molly knew it would take a while for John to get off the drugs that he was forced to take.

Suddenly, an intern walked by and gave Molly a 'high-five' as he passed. This did not go unnoticed by Sherlock. "A new boyfriend?"

"No. He's not. He's gay," Molly informed him dryly. She always seemed to fall for guys who were gay. By now, Molly had heard of the videos and knew of John's double life.

"If you want my opinion, sleep with him," she deadpanned. Molly could tell from Sherlock's reaction that he was shocked. "Platonically. Haven't you ever crawled into your brother's bed on a stormy night when you were afraid?"

"No! Of course not!" He was almost appalled by her suggestion when he suddenly did remember one night he was really frightened and did indeed sleep with his brother.

"Do you think that will work?" he quizzed as his attitude suddenly changed.

She shrugged her shoulders, "His problem is when he sleeps right? So be there when he sleeps."

Sherlock had tried everything else from playing relaxing music to having John drink a glass of warm milk before bedtime. But the nightmares persisted.

"Okay, I'll try it."

Molly added musingly, "But good luck getting him to agree to it." Knowing that Sherlock really didn't plan to stay, she excused herself and went back to work.

-00-

Back at the flat, Sherlock knew Molly was right. Getting John to agree to letting Sherlock sleep in the same bed would be difficult. He had reasoned that John would worry about appearances. Sherlock decided it was best to wait until that evening before he approached John about it. As John was brushing his teeth and getting ready for bed, Sherlock popped his head in the doorway of the bathroom. "John." He paused before continuing, "I need to talk to you about something."

John could tell something was up by the tone of Sherlock's voice. He rinsed his mouth and put his toothbrush away as he took the towel from around his neck and wiped across his mouth. He was pretty sure he wasn't going to like what Sherlock had to say. He took a deep breath before responding, "Okay."

He followed Sherlock to the living room where they sat down on the couch. By now, John had returned to sleeping in his own bedroom upstairs while Sherlock continued to take care of Rosie. This way, John's nightmares wouldn't wake her in the middle of the night. "What's up?" John couldn't look Sherlock in the eye.

"John, your nightmares are not getting better. They're getting worst." Sherlock awkwardly placed his hand on John's shoulder.

John swallowed hard as he knew Sherlock was right. "If you want me to move out, I understand." He was dying inside thinking that he had outgrown his welcome. Sherlock had to know by now. He was sure that everyone knew by now.

Taken aback, Sherlock retorted, "No, I don't want you to leave! I want you to sleep with me in my bed!" He suddenly realized how that had sounded and stuttered, "I..I mean, just sleep." He let out an exasperated sigh, "You know what I mean."

"Oh!" This was a surprising turn of events. He wasn't sure how to respond. "Are you sure?" John gave Sherlock a puzzled look.

"Of course, I'm sure."

"Why?" John wasn't sure he was understanding what Sherlock was asking. He knew that Sherlock had witnessed some of his torture and that he most likely saw all the videos. Sherlock knew his secret yet he was still inviting him into his bed.

"Well obviously so I can wake you up before you have a nightmare!" He smirked.

"Oooooh." Now John understood. He reluctantly agreed only because he was so exhausted from lack of sleep that he was willing to try anything...almost. But this was going to be weird.

John knew that Sherlock slept on the left side of the bed so he climbed in on the right side and pulled up the covers. Sherlock followed after brushing his teeth. As the two laid there ... on their backs ... starring at the ceiling, John couldn't resist remarking, "This is weird." Sherlock gave him a silly look which made them both giggle. John finally relaxed. It felt like old times again. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Sherlock would wake him twice throughout the night as he began thrashing about the bed. But it seemed to work and John finally got a good night's sleep. He was somewhat surprised the next morning, however, when he awoke to find Sherlock snuggled up beside him with his arm draped over John's chest and his head buried in the nape of John's neck. John gave him a strange look, not knowing what to do, when he heard Rosie in her crib. Yes, it was time to get up. He carefully slid out from under Sherlock and got dressed. He left Sherlock sleeping as he took his daughter out to the kitchen and made her breakfast.

"Rosie, it's going to be a good day."

Sherlock eventually woke up and joined him in the kitchen as John cooked him some eggs for breakfast. Sherlock smiled as he played with Rosie.

Lestrade came by that afternoon to consult with Sherlock on a case. He was surprised to see John joining them. John had been keeping his head low and out of sight. "John, you're looking better." He was happy to see 'the team' back together again.

"Thank you." Although he didn't remember Jade being there when he was rescued, Sherlock had filled him in. Especially since they had history together. "Greg, how is Jade working out?"

Lestrade looked surprised. "She quit right before she rescued you. Didn't Sherlock tell you?" He glanced over awkwardly at Sherlock.

"Oh, yeah." John wasn't sure if Sherlock had told him or not. "My memory of that time is not really good." He looked away for a moment. "Do you have her phone number? I'd like to call her."

"Yeah! I have it right here." He checked the contacts on his phone. "I tried to call her afterwards to get her to come back to work but she never answered." He found the number and gave it to John. "So, what is the story about her."

"What do you mean?" John asked testily thinking about the videos of she and him that Lestrade most surely had watched.

Lestrade realized that John knew Jade better than anyone else. "Well, she wasn't very talkative but she learned really fast," he explained. "There was just something about her that convinced me to take a chance on her. I can't figure out why she wouldn't return my calls."

John secretly let out a sigh of relief, Lestrade was curious about Jade and not their relationship together. "PTSD!" John exclaimed. Lestrade looked puzzled so John laid it out for him. "She was in the war too long. She saw too many bad things. I was the same way when I got out." He thought back to their conversations together as a little smile came over his face. "She actually called me one time in the middle of a fire fight, of all things, to say goodbye." He shook his head in disbelief, "Who makes a phone call when you're about to die!"

Sherlock ignored John's question as he remembered his call from the rooftop of Barts hospital. He had wanted to tell John goodbye before his jumped to his fake death.

His voice took a more serious tone as he explained, "We always thought we'd die there - it was that bad. We'd actually joke about it. She was a sniper and could shoot like you wouldn't believe. She said there were too many insurgents and she couldn't shoot them all by herself. I remembered they always used these small rocket launchers on us so I told her to shoot at the rockets and make them explode like bombs. She did and they actually made it out of there."

"She had a tough job." John leaned forward as he continued to explain, "You see, the insurgents would give one of their kids a grenade and then tell them 'go give this to the soldier'." He made a forward motion with his hand. "They'd pull the pin before they sent the kid off. Jade had to shoot the kid. I, on the other hand, had to try and save the soldiers who couldn't shoot the kid and got blown up. I was a field medic."

John looked up at Lestrade pausing before he continued, "I heard she shot the Mellingbrooks. Head shot no doubt. I guarantee you when she burst into that room, she was back in Afghanistan. That's PTSD. It probably scared the hell out of her."

Lestrade shook his head as he now understood.

"Do you want her back?" Inquired John.

"Yeah, she was good. She solved your case." That meant a lot to Lestrade.

John dialed Jade's number. "Jade! This is John Watson." He smiled as she responded back. "I'm putting you on speaker." He motioned to Sherlock and Lestrade to keep quiet. "How you been?"

"I'm doing okay I guess. Sounds like you've recovered." Jade sounded tired.

"I'm getting there. It's slow. So why haven't you called back Lestrade?"

"Hmmmm. You heard about that huh." Jade paused for a moment. "I'm not sure that would be a good idea. I was thinking about maybe re-enlisting instead."

John couldn't believe his ears, "Are you a fucking idiot!? That's suicide!"

Lestrade was shocked at the way John talked to her and raised an eyebrow as he glanced over at Sherlock. "You are not re-enlisting and that's an order!" Jade started laughing at him giving her orders.

"What are you gonna do - kick my ass?" she countered back sarcastically.

"I did it once!" He chuckled at the thought then chided, "The Cognac was great!"

Jade immediately reminded him, "That was a lucky punch! Even you said so. You slipped and I caught your elbow."

John started laughing. "Doesn't matter. I won the fight and we got the Cognac." John was really enjoying the conversation and it showed in his voice.

He so enjoyed rubbing Jade's face in the fact that he won a fight against her. Jade put up a fancy bottle of Cognac while John's buddies put up three bottles of Vodka. Whoever won the fight got all the alcohol. To make things fair, Jade insisted that they had to pick a guy that was more her size as she was rather petite. It didn't matter to her that they thought she was a guy. In fact, she rather preferred it. There were only two guys in their unit that were small - John Watson and Tyrone Mellingbrook. They chose John Watson to be their champion and John was hailed a hero when he won the fight.

"So, you're gonna call Lestrade...right? We need you here. Lestrade has a bunch of assholes working for him that Sherlock and me can't stand. We 'need' you working for him." He stressed the word need as Lestrade shot him a strange look.

Jade's voice took a more serious tone as she answered him, "Ah, John, I kind of quit. I don't think I can get my job back now."

John sarcastically remarked, "Well, if you don't call Lestrade back how will you know? Call him. Do you need his number?"

Jade laughed out loud, as she realized what he was up to, "You dick! Did you already talk to him?"

"Yeah, me and Sherlock put in a good word for you." John had a big grin on his face which didn't go unnoticed. Sherlock was happy to see his friend smiling again and found himself smiling as well.

She let out a sigh, "Okay, I'll call him. I'll talk to you later and let you know how it went."

"Great!" John gave Lestrade a thumb up. "Talk to you later love."

He ended the call and turned to Lestrade, "If she doesn't call you let me know."

"Yeah, sure." Lestrade was genuinely surprised. He finished up discussing his case and then left.

-00-

Later that night, John laid in bed wide awake. He could sense that Sherlock was awake as well.

"Something on your mind Sherlock?" he asked concerned.

Sherlock just shook his head, "Nope."

After several more minutes of silence, John sat up and repositioned his pillow against the headboard. "Would you do something for me?"

Sherlock would do anything for John, except maybe grocery shopping. He sat up and positioned his pillow as well. "What?"

"If I ever raise my hand to Rosie or even if I yell at her too much, promise me you'll stop me."

Sherlock was shocked as he looked over at his friend. "Why would you ever do that? You're a good father."

"Just promise me okay." John returned Sherlock's gaze.

"Okay," he responded slowly. Sherlock knew the reason why but heeded Jade's warning. The silence that followed was somewhat awkward until John turned to Sherlock again.

"My father hit me as a kid. He did it a lot and I don't want to take a chance that I'll do it to Rosie." They both knew that abused children many times abused their own children as well.

"Of course, I'll protect Rosie," Sherlock assured him. He purposely didn't tell John everything that had happened when they were held by the Mellingbrooks. Some of it was just too private and painful to admit.

John let out a noticeable sigh of relief. He knew Sherlock would be curious and he felt like talking. "My Mum left my father for another woman. He didn't take it too well and she never came back for me or my sister." His mind wandered back to when he was a kid and the abandonment he felt when his mother never returned. "My father was so afraid that my sister and I would turn out gay that he beat us constantly over it."

Sherlock cautiously asked, "How old were you when she left?"

John cocked his head to the side as he thought for a moment. "Seven I think."

He cleared his throat in an effort to keep it from tightening up. "That's why-." John's voice trailed off for a moment. "That's why I didn't want Ty to tell anyone about us." He swallowed hard, "I was ashamed." Tears began flowing down John's face. He was grateful that the room was dark.

With the new information, Sherlock was able to make a reasonable deduction and he didn't like what came to his mind. "John, mothers don't leave their children behind. They have that maternal thing going on."

"Well my mother did. She never came back." Sherlock noticed the anger and pain in John's voice.

"How do you know? Wasn't there a custody hearing?"

"My dad told me," John explained angrily. "Besides, she had all those years to make contact and she never did. She never wanted custody."

Sherlock turned his entire body to face John. He had to tell him but wasn't sure how he'd take it so he began quietly deducing out loud. "So, we know your father is abusive and his wife is going to leave him...and he just lets her walk out the door?" Sherlock waited for this to sink in. "John, your mother died. That's why she didn't come back. He probably got so angry that he killed her."

John put his hand up to his mouth as he suddenly realized Sherlock was right. It made sense. He had hated his mother for all these years never realizing she gave her life trying to get them away from their father. John tried so hard to keep from crying but it was no use as Sherlock held him tightly.

John cried for the longest time. Finally, his sobs turned into whimpers and he finally quieted down. Sherlock let go as John straightened up. He waited silently for John to say something but he never did.

Sherlock was dying inside as he sat next to John. It had been several minutes of silence and John had still not spoken. It occurred to him that maybe changing the subject would get John talking again. He didn't want him to stop now that he had opened up.

"So, how did you meet Tyrone?" Sherlock was relieved when John gave a little laugh and wiped his eyes.

"I was friends with him for a long time in the Army. We were drinking buddies." He wasn't sure if he wanted to explain or not but opted to tell Sherlock the story since he had basically just given John's Mother back to him. Besides, he felt compelled to explain so that Sherlock wouldn't hate him. "We were drunk and in my tent, when Ty kissed me. I didn't know what to do and just stood there like a dumbass. So, he kissed me again more passionately and we fell back onto my bed." John was sure he was blushing but continued, "I just let him have his way with me."

John had a smile on his face as he remembered the moment. "I felt like a damn virgin and had no clue what to do so he showed me and I did it. And ... I liked it."

He glanced over at Sherlock in the dark hoping that his friend wouldn't judge him. John had often wondered if Sherlock was a virgin. He had long suspected that Sherlock most likely had no experience whatsoever with sex and found himself wanting to show him but kept putting it out of his mind. He wasn't totally convinced that Sherlock was gay but just sheltered from such things. He would settle for Sherlock any way he could have him - that included just as a friend. But sharing his bed was becoming more of a problem for John as it stirred up feelings inside him. Feelings that he HAD to keep under control. Still, he didn't have the heart to tell Sherlock to stay on his side of the bed.

THE END

 **I very much appreciate any reviews you can give. I hope you enjoyed the story.**


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